Valued customer entering these pages,
before you progress, we beseech you to
recite the oath below:

I, customer,
Do solemnly swear
To throw away all inhibitions
To trample every restriction
And embrace beloved addiction
For my home shopping experience
I will gladly and madly buy buy buy!
I will empty my funds, body, and soul
Without regard, regret, or remorse
Until every last drop is spent
Every last drop.

Hold for the full oath. Every. Last. Drop.